My youngest son turned 18 last week, so I am officially the mom of adults. This is a weird transition for me. As a classic nurturer, I like to make dinner for the people, sew on the buttons, mend the injuries both physical and emotional and, most especially, put a blanket on the sleeping.
This last habit is a particularly annoying one, as I have been known to put blankets on most sleepers I encounter - my kids, people staying at the beach house and even the student who falls asleep in my classroom (for which a jacket functions very much like a blanket). Last month, I was staying at my mom's house and immediately before bed, my nephew said, "Hey, Aunt Nan, it really isn't cold tonight, so I won't be needing the extra blanket."
To me, the blanket is a metaphor for all the nurturing things out there: love, comfort, support, empathy, compassion, sustenance, forgiveness, encouragement and hope. When I put it on a person, these are the things I imagine placing upon them. Plus, I am always cold, so I naturally assume others are, too.
As a teacher (and now the mom of adults) putting the physical blanket on others is a less frequent occurrence. That, and it's summer. The challenge, I think, becomes finding ways to place the virtual blanket on those I love while they are away at college, learning in my classroom, teaching next door to me or sitting next to me in the car.
Putting a blanket on someone is really easy. Finding ways to show compassion, care and hope to those who need it is harder - especially when the people who need the care are students and/or young adults. What might that look like?
The more I reflect on this question, the more clearly I see the substitute for the blanket is kindness. Kindness is tricky, because it's only easy when circumstances are favorable. It's easy to be kind when we're rested, fed and those around us are fun. Kindness becomes harder when we're depleted, when the kids are bored and whiney and when we don't know what the people around us going through. In these cases, kindness is a struggle.
As we manage these last few (read challenging) weeks of school, I hope to find ways to spread blankets of kindness on those who need it. On my own kids who are facing down big changes, on kids at school who might rather be elsewhere, on adults who are feeling overwhelmed and stressed - especially in those moments when the need is loudest and ickiest. While putting the actual blanket on folks is much easier, wrapping the intangible blanket of kindness and care about them is way more important.
This last habit is a particularly annoying one, as I have been known to put blankets on most sleepers I encounter - my kids, people staying at the beach house and even the student who falls asleep in my classroom (for which a jacket functions very much like a blanket). Last month, I was staying at my mom's house and immediately before bed, my nephew said, "Hey, Aunt Nan, it really isn't cold tonight, so I won't be needing the extra blanket."
To me, the blanket is a metaphor for all the nurturing things out there: love, comfort, support, empathy, compassion, sustenance, forgiveness, encouragement and hope. When I put it on a person, these are the things I imagine placing upon them. Plus, I am always cold, so I naturally assume others are, too.
As a teacher (and now the mom of adults) putting the physical blanket on others is a less frequent occurrence. That, and it's summer. The challenge, I think, becomes finding ways to place the virtual blanket on those I love while they are away at college, learning in my classroom, teaching next door to me or sitting next to me in the car.
Putting a blanket on someone is really easy. Finding ways to show compassion, care and hope to those who need it is harder - especially when the people who need the care are students and/or young adults. What might that look like?
The more I reflect on this question, the more clearly I see the substitute for the blanket is kindness. Kindness is tricky, because it's only easy when circumstances are favorable. It's easy to be kind when we're rested, fed and those around us are fun. Kindness becomes harder when we're depleted, when the kids are bored and whiney and when we don't know what the people around us going through. In these cases, kindness is a struggle.
As we manage these last few (read challenging) weeks of school, I hope to find ways to spread blankets of kindness on those who need it. On my own kids who are facing down big changes, on kids at school who might rather be elsewhere, on adults who are feeling overwhelmed and stressed - especially in those moments when the need is loudest and ickiest. While putting the actual blanket on folks is much easier, wrapping the intangible blanket of kindness and care about them is way more important.
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