I See You

 In real school, teachers have ways of getting to know kids. It's a thing we try to do intentionally, but, like everything else is subjective and sometimes problematic. 

In virtual school - "fake school" as my kids have taken to calling it - all the regular methods are gone. We don't know what all of our kids look like, or how they sound, or what styles they wear or even their handwriting. I miss these things and joke all the time with kids "If I ran into you in the grocery store, we would not recognize each other!"

And yet, a year into this fake school, I notice that there are different things I know about kids, which makes me question some of the old ways. It's easy to say to a kid - "gee, I love those shoes!" - and it isn't without merit. The kid feels noticed and I begin to think of my next shoe purchase. But there is a superficial quality to these exchanges, that now that we can no longer rely upon, I miss less and less.

In place of their shoes or what clever slogan their tee-shirt says, I notice when kids say or don't say something. I notice what errors they make on their math - which helps me to spot some errors in my instruction. I notice how they listen or don't - and to whom. I notice when they are able to advocate for themselves or for others. I notice when they are present or really PRESENT. It's possible that I always noted these things, but it's hard to remember what school used to be like. 

Not being able to "see" kids has, in some ways, helped me to see them more clearly. I have become better at asking questions that lead to actual responses - mathematical or otherwise. I have gotten better at finding where the learning went awry. And I've become more in tune with the ways kids choose to communicate - which is different from the ways we want them to.

There is a lot of reading and writing that goes into this kind of discovery - and it goes both ways. I always leave a comment or feedback for each kid on each assignment. Sometimes, that's just "I missed you in class today." Other times, it is a question about the math or a thank you for participating in class. 

In the beginning of fake school, I thought kids weren't reading these comments. But I kept writing and they began to respond. I get a diversity of responses - and sometimes none at all - but I have learned enough from enough kids to know that I need to keep doing this - even when we go back to actual school.

I learned when a kid was changing his pronouns, what kind of birthday cake someone had, when the work was too hard, when there was a death in the family and when there is no WiFi. I learned that there is a level of trust that we have built - even without us really seeing each other - that is helping us all be vulnerable when we need to and careful with the feelings of others.

"I see you" is a phrase I have used more in fake school than I ever did in real school. Thanks for courage of the kids in my classes and the community that we have built, it is actually true.