In a few weeks I have to lead a session on self-care for teachers for the Philadelphia Learning Collaborative. I find this hilarious because I take pretty bad care of myself. My gums are receding, I almost never pack a healthy lunch and I don't get enough sleep. Ever.
Self-care is trendy and many people mistake it for spa days or expensive vacations. Who can afford that? And who has the time? Not teachers, that's certain.
I've been thinking a lot about how to make this time useful for participants. After all, they will be learning about self-care from a heretic.
It's not that I don't believe in self-care. It's just that I am bad at it.
If the goal of self-care is to keep one on an even keel and help a person see that matters and what does not, it seems like there are some prongs that can make this work easier. Managing our feelings, managing our work and managing our fun seem to be important factors in maintaining balance and equanimity.
Managing Feelings
Each of us has faced some pretty icky things. Loss, trauma, anxiety - you name it. If we let these situations get the better of us, we become useless to kids. We snap at them, fail to plan effectively or can't "be" there for them when they face their own icky things.
Knowing where to put our feelings - how to process them and how to put them in perspective is an important aspect of self-care. Do you have a confidant? Journal? Running group? Sibling? Anyone to function as a sounding board? Simply saying "this sucks and I feel terrible about it" can help us get back to a more useful state of being - for ourselves and for our students.
Managing Work
I do my very best thinking at 4 am. This has been a lifelong thing and I feel fortunate to have figured it out early on in my work as a teacher and as a mom. I can get an amazing amount of planning done before I even take a shower - and I treasure this time to help me feel ready for the day.
Knowing what works best for you is essential. Do you need to stay after school and not bring any work home? Do you bring you papers to your kids' soccer game so you can grade? Are you part of group of teachers who plan together to keep one another accountable? Whatever you do to do your work - do it! Make time for what you know will work for you.
Managing Fun
I love to hike and swim. If I can do these things on a consistent basis, I feel great. Carving out time to do these things is important. Even if you don't think you have time to have coffee with a friend or go see a movie, you really do. And you really should. It makes you more relaxed and way more interesting.
Creating a Community Who Have Your Back
It's interesting to note that self-care takes place best when it takes place in community. The other day I had to have a procedure that required anesthesia. This would be my first experience with anesthesia and I was terrified. And also, I hated the idea of relying on others to care for me. The evening before my event, my mom, all of my sisters and many of my colleagues reached out to wish me well. On the morning of, my boyfriend drove me to the hospital. "You can drop me off in the front and go home and take a nap. It's really ok if you don't stay."
"Of course I am staying," he said - and proceeded to lend his particular flavor of humor and care to the entire day.
When I returned to school the next day, my students had opinions. "What happened to your perfect attendance streak?," was the comment I expected (and also received, because I make way too big a deal about showing up every day.)
The sentence that came after the ribbing was what touched me the most - "You must've been really sick to not be here. I really missed you."
I may be lousy at self-care, but I do know how to cultivate the kind of community that will take care of me when I need it most. Perhaps, that's my best advice for the folks at the session in a few weeks - be around people who will notice when you neglect yourself and gently remind you that it's ok to lean on them a little.
Self-care is trendy and many people mistake it for spa days or expensive vacations. Who can afford that? And who has the time? Not teachers, that's certain.
I've been thinking a lot about how to make this time useful for participants. After all, they will be learning about self-care from a heretic.
It's not that I don't believe in self-care. It's just that I am bad at it.
If the goal of self-care is to keep one on an even keel and help a person see that matters and what does not, it seems like there are some prongs that can make this work easier. Managing our feelings, managing our work and managing our fun seem to be important factors in maintaining balance and equanimity.
Managing Feelings
Each of us has faced some pretty icky things. Loss, trauma, anxiety - you name it. If we let these situations get the better of us, we become useless to kids. We snap at them, fail to plan effectively or can't "be" there for them when they face their own icky things.
Knowing where to put our feelings - how to process them and how to put them in perspective is an important aspect of self-care. Do you have a confidant? Journal? Running group? Sibling? Anyone to function as a sounding board? Simply saying "this sucks and I feel terrible about it" can help us get back to a more useful state of being - for ourselves and for our students.
Managing Work
I do my very best thinking at 4 am. This has been a lifelong thing and I feel fortunate to have figured it out early on in my work as a teacher and as a mom. I can get an amazing amount of planning done before I even take a shower - and I treasure this time to help me feel ready for the day.
Knowing what works best for you is essential. Do you need to stay after school and not bring any work home? Do you bring you papers to your kids' soccer game so you can grade? Are you part of group of teachers who plan together to keep one another accountable? Whatever you do to do your work - do it! Make time for what you know will work for you.
Managing Fun
I love to hike and swim. If I can do these things on a consistent basis, I feel great. Carving out time to do these things is important. Even if you don't think you have time to have coffee with a friend or go see a movie, you really do. And you really should. It makes you more relaxed and way more interesting.
Creating a Community Who Have Your Back
It's interesting to note that self-care takes place best when it takes place in community. The other day I had to have a procedure that required anesthesia. This would be my first experience with anesthesia and I was terrified. And also, I hated the idea of relying on others to care for me. The evening before my event, my mom, all of my sisters and many of my colleagues reached out to wish me well. On the morning of, my boyfriend drove me to the hospital. "You can drop me off in the front and go home and take a nap. It's really ok if you don't stay."
"Of course I am staying," he said - and proceeded to lend his particular flavor of humor and care to the entire day.
When I returned to school the next day, my students had opinions. "What happened to your perfect attendance streak?," was the comment I expected (and also received, because I make way too big a deal about showing up every day.)
The sentence that came after the ribbing was what touched me the most - "You must've been really sick to not be here. I really missed you."
I may be lousy at self-care, but I do know how to cultivate the kind of community that will take care of me when I need it most. Perhaps, that's my best advice for the folks at the session in a few weeks - be around people who will notice when you neglect yourself and gently remind you that it's ok to lean on them a little.
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