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Seeking the Courage I Lack(ed)

A year ago, it probably wasn't as rainy as today was.  It might have been warmer, too.  It wasn't a Monday, either.

I went back and read some emails from this time last year and I learned that we had had a dance over that weekend.  The students had fun and so did the teachers.  I was getting ready for a parent conference that had the potential to be uncomfortable.  The students had held a pretzel sale earlier in the week to raise money for tsunami victims.  It was a busy time.

I remember needing a lot of coaching to feel confident.  More than I need now.

Confidence has always been a thing that I lack.  It just doesn't come naturally.

Remember that scene in The Sound of Music when Maria travels to the Von Trapp's and she sings "I Have Confidence"?  She sings and dances through the streets of Salzburg swinging her luggage and guitar, only to find that she is still afraid?  Yup, that's me.

Faking confidence does work - I will not lie.  But as I walked out of school the other day carrying my bookbag and my son's guitar, I did the dance myself.  I am pretty sure that if anyone saw me in the parking lot, they would have thought I was insane.  But the truth is, I was feeling pretty darn confident and, for a change, I didn't need the song to persuade me.

Many people and events have gone into this change.  I am grateful.  And I have confidence!



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